Why do I try?

It sounds so easy! Just sit at a computer and write what ever is on your mind. Be witty and original, share it will a few people, and then wait for the millions of readers to share it on social media.

Reality is, even if it’s witty and original, very few people will read and even less will share. So why even try? Seriously, I am not here to give any answers I am asking the question.  Life feels like a string of “easy” opportunities for success and happiness, but they all require intense effort and talent that most of us do not have.

As I look back on my attempts over the last decade, i’ve tried selling real estate and cosmetics, starting an online store, creating a website and of course writing a blog, the only success I have had was being unsuccessful.

I know I am not alone. So instead of feeling like you have failed,  remember you are successfully unsuccessful. I’m calling it a win and moving on to my next attempt at a successful failure.

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Brahman

Massive beast

Gentle eyes

Drawing me in

Making me love him

Droopy ears

Big nose

Hump on his back

Curious beast

Mouth wide open

Waiting

Hoping

For a snack

Drop in a handful

Get a kiss

Scratch a nose

Do it all again

Waiting by the gate

Watching me leave

Hated to go

Left a piece of me

The Snitch

In the backyard

I watch the ants

Crawling over a camper shell

I pluck them up one by one

Not sure why this entertains me,

But it does.

Not the first time

I’ve passed the time

Watching them crawl.

He is here today, but

He does not want to play

The way I do.

Watching ants is not his thing.

He’d rather dig sand,

Slide or swing.

I dare not move.

He can’t let me be.

Goes inside to tattle on me.

No one likes a snitch

Can’t wait for him to leave

Today I learned my lesson

No more invites to play with me.

Invisible

Only child, very bored

Playing with friends that can’t been seen.

They are all in love with me,

to them I am a queen.

They think I am the best at everything,

Amazed at how I dance and sing.

Why did they have to leave me,

What will the new phase bring?

Now more alone than before,

All of my friends can be seen.

But none worth keeping close to me

So here I sit, wishing, to be invisible.

Treasure Hunt

Tiny black tooth

Will you be missed?

Lying in a pile of ocean treasure,

Grains of sand are your blanket,

You are a rare find.

Once you had a purpose,

But you were not significant.

When you lost your place,

You were replaced in just a day.

You were one of 50, One of 300,

You were one of 50,000.

Today you are significant

Because you are my treasure.

Grains of sand

Will you be missed?

Collapsing under my feet

So soft, so silky, so warm.

You hold other treasures

But you are not significant

Until you are washed into the sea,

Only loved when you are missed.

You are a few of millions,

You are a few of billions,

Too many to count them all.

Today you are significant

Because you are my treasure.

Little white shell

Will you be missed?

Lying on the grains of sand

So pristine, so smooth,

And bleached by the sun.

You were significant once,

But now you are forgotten.

You are one of several,

One of hundreds,

One of thousands.

Today you are significant

Because you are my treasure.

I close my eyes, and

Breathe in the salty ocean breeze,

Sway to the rhythm of the waves,

And wonder;

Will I be missed?

I am one of thousands,

I am one of millions,

I am one of billions.

Today, will I be significant,

Whose treasure will I be?

by Alicia Whitaker-Stokes

Gone Fishing

A day with dad, at the lake,

Bait on line, now we wait.

Grab a soda, and a snack,

Check the bait, throw it back.

Cast the line, reel it in

Over and over, and over again.

Feel a tug, heartbeat soars

Just what we’ve, waited for!

Thrashing, putting up a fight

Crank the reel, hold on tight.

Pull up quick, or he’ll get free

Cranking faster, anxious to see

What’s on the end of my line.

Rod is bending, will it break?

Would quickly end, our special day.

Give him slack, try again

Wondering, will this fight end?

He must be huge, he pulls so hard

Steadfast, cranking one time more

I catch a glimpse, he’s getting near

Waiting, working, and now he’s here.

Dad grab the line, pulls him in

Tired arms, big ole grin

He’s a keeper, pound or so

Bass for dinner tonight.

He wanted a boy, guess I’ll do

Caught a fish, a keeper too.

Not much in common, what to do?

Just keep pretending this is fun.

by Alicia Whitaker-Stokes

Closer

Another day, another doe

Watching me, as I go

Passing by her very slow,

Closer and Closer.

Ears perked up, listening

Like a statue, standing

Eyes wide open, staring

Daring not to move.

Big brown eyes, look through me.

As she stands there, chewing

Grass while waiting, for me

To come closer.

Carefully, a step or two

Tail twitching, still not through

Another bite, more to chew

Letting me come closer.

Eyes locked, ears rotate

Casually, she turns away,

Another peek, she hesitates

Now sauntering towards home.

At the edge, she stops once more

Turning back, to be sure

Before she takes, one step more

That I’ve come closer.

By Alicia Whitaker-Stokes

The Invisible Car

Today as I was driving down a two lane road I noticed the car in front of me move into the left lane. Naturally I think they must be passing the car in front of them, but then I realize that the closest car is way ahead of them.

This car proceeds to ride in the left lane for what seem like minutes then pulls back over into the right lane. My first thought was that they passed an invisible car. I definitely did not see a car between this car and mine after they moved back to the right lane, but they did take the amount of time needed in the left lane to actually pass another car.

I have to admit that I rubbed my eyes and blinked a couple of times after this happened. Yes, I wondered it there was something there I couldn’t see. I wondered if there was something wrong with my eyes.

As I tried to make sense of what I just saw, I finally wondered what the driver in the car in front of me was smoking to make them believe they were passing an invisible car. I’m still so confused.

Not Going to the Doctor

It’s sad when you think that if you were in need of serious medical care you just rather die then have to deal with the cost of getting medical care.

I used to be the person that went to the doctor whenever I felt bad. Probably going 2-4 times a year including annual well visits. No more! I’m now on team “wait it out”. I have found if I wait things will get better and it’s free!

So I don’t have what I would call health insurance. Sure my plan passes the requirements so I don’t pay a penalty but it also doesn’t cover anything. Not even well visits. My last well visit cost me almost $300 and that was a couple of years ago.

I felt fine so, why spend so much money? I hate to be this way, but I’m not going to be living paycheck to paycheck to have the decent insurance had ten year ago.

Don’t be fooled by the insurance that gives you a “break” on the bill either. Even though most plans today don’t cover anything until you hit a high out of pocket cost, like $10,000 or more, don’t think they are saving you money when you file before you hit this amount.

A few years ago I learned this the hard way. I had one of those plans with Blue Cross Blue Shield, and the doctor’s office filed a $200 bill for my child’s well visit. Then after my insurance “discount” I still owed $150. Sounds good until I read the sign at the payment window that the cost for that same visit was only $100 if I did not have insurance.

That’s right, I’d have paid less by not filing any insurance. Tell how that makes sense? I might could justify paying when I am sick and not getting better after a few weeks, but the well visits are a thing of the past until something with our health care changes!

I’m Fading

So it’s day three of my third attempt at blogging and I can already feel my desire fading. I’ve thought about writing a couple of times today, but keep drawing a blank.

Where did all my thoughts and ideas go? As I try to think of something to write about nothing interesting comes to mind. Maybe it’s the dreary weather or the fact that I’m still mentally recovering from the woman who thought I was pregnant yesterday, but today I’m at a loss for words.

Actually I think my thoughts have been consumed with how quickly Easter will be here, and how I’ve done nothing to get an Easter basket ready for my daughter. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but when you are a stay at home mom and have your child with you 24/7, getting free time alone to shop for her is extremely difficult.

Sure I could order something online but I worry I’m running out of time to get it here before next weekend. Plus I have no idea what I want to get for her.

Ok, thanks enough rambling about myself! Hopefully I’ll have some genius ideas tomorrow!